It's OK to be Kinky

Growing up it was incredibly instilled in my brain that it was not ok to be kinky. To this day my mum refuses to acknowledge BDSM as anything other than horrific abuse. Needless to say, this made me think there was something very wrong with me when I began to realize I enjoyed kinky things.

When I first started watching porn I fell down a rabbit hole similar to the kid from Big Mouth that ends up watching all different kinds of porn. I think, I was playing games on my phone while watching it but you know what I’m getting at. So I started finding these beautiful kinky scenes and I thought this is awesome I want to try it, but at the same time after being told for so long that it was ridiculous to be anything but vanilla and if you were you were actually crazy person, I pushed those desires out of my mind.

That was, until I got my first boyfriend and he wanted to tie me up. I cringe now looking back because we had no idea what we were doing and definitely did not take any safety precautions that we should have when doing rope play.

PSA TIME- Always educate yourself before engaging in a new kind of play peeps, it’ll make the play even better. I promise.

Anyway, so I was tied up and the whole time all I could think was ‘this is freaking amazing, why has it taken me this long to try this???’ and a freak was born. Unfortunately that was it for any kind of kinky play for about a year and a half afterwards because my partner at the time was just not into it and I didn’t want to push him to do anything in the bedroom he was uncomfortable with.

Thinking back now it was actually a long ass time before I tried doing anything kinky again. This was a problem for me because I was left with feelings of unfulfillment. I just was not getting what I wanted and I saw these happy looking people engaging in BDSM and kinky activities and I envied them so much.

Finally I found a partner that I could explore my kinky side with, but I struggled with it. The residual feelings that there must be something wrong with me stuck and I would often have times where I wouldn’t be able to complete a scene because it tore me apart thinking I had to be batshit insane because only insane people engaged in these activities.

I’m here to tell you if you feel that way I know your struggle, but you are not insane or crazy, it is perfectly natural to engage in kinky activities. People from all walks of life engage in kinky activities for a variety of reasons, whether it’s purely for fun or as a means of dealing with past trauma, any reason you are engaging in it is perfectly valid. As long as it’s negotiated upon activities between two consenting adults, go nuts.

To this day I still struggle with some aspects of being kinktacular. I just figured out not too long ago that I actually enjoy being a domme as much as I enjoy being a submissive. It took me forever to figure that out because of how instilled in my brain it was that to be a female dom you had to be a hardcore sadist or nothing. And by all means if you’re a female dom and very sadistic that’s awesome, but I had no idea you could be a domme and a female in any other way. More on that in another post though.

The long and the short of this rather short blog post is though: if you like it, go for it; you’re not insane for enjoying what you enjoy between two or more consenting adults.